A: No. Trans men have existed for centuries, and have been able to medically transition for about 70 years. Meanwhile, the concept of a butch identity has existed since the beginning of the 20th century, and masculine women have existed for much longer than that.
We’re different, but nobody’s destroying anybody just by existing. There is room in the world for all of us to coexist: butch lesbians, trans men, female-assigned genderqueer and nonbinary people, and everybody else.
A: There’s no good evidence that this is a real social phenomenon. I’ll give details in three parts: first, some true information about transition in children and adolescents; second, a quick critique of some misinformation about so-called “Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria” (with links to more thorough breakdowns), and third, some thoughts about broader perspective.
Let’s start with some accurate information about how transition works in children, from the Standards of Care published by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health. While the Standards of Care are not legally binding, they are widely considered best practices, and, in the words of the document itself, “based on the best available science and expert professional consensus.”
To sum up: the main treatment for young children is to call them by a different name and pronouns, which is as medically non-invasive as you can get. Kids who are not sure about puberty can delay making a choice with hormone blockers. More permanent medical treatments happen only after the onset of puberty, and only after the adolescent has arrived at a firm decision about what they want.
You may have read about “Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD),” a made-up phenomenon in which teenage girls suddenly claim to be transgender due to a social contagion, and are pushed into transitions that they later regret. ROGD may sound scientific with its fancy name, but it was invented in 2016 by a handful of anti-trans websites, and then picked up and amplified by right-wing media. Julia Serano does a thorough job debunking ROGD here.
To date, there has been one paper published on ROGD. It appeared in the journal PLOS-ONE (which specializes in volume over quality control); the author interviewed twelve parents of transgender children (recruited through anti-trans websites) and zero transgender children. The article is debunked by Zinnia Jones here; and an earlier (similarly flawed) poster version is debunked by Brynn Tanhill here.
Finally, here’s some broader perspective on trans children and adolescents.
Withholding transition is not a neutral option. There are costs to forcing a trans child or adolescent to live in a social role they’re not comfortable with, and costs to forcing them to undergo an unwanted puberty (which has irreversible physical and psychological effects).
And sure, rushing kids into a transition you’re not sure they want would be bad, for the same reason that rushing kids into anything is bad. Fortunately, actual best practice is to listen to trans children, think about their needs, and try to provide age-appropriate, proportionate care.
A: No. Nonbinary people are claiming to be neither male nor female. This is compatible with the claim that many other people are either male or female, and also with the claim that sexism remains a serious problem.
Many nonbinary people (including the nonbinary authors of this blog) do not think that we live in a post-patriarchy society. Nonbinary people experience hostility and discrimination on the basis of our genders, and while this discrimination is not identical to the sexism experienced by women, it is connected to that sexism.
A: Being trans doesn’t commit you to anything, aside from the claim that you belong to a gender category different from the one that everyone assumed you belonged to when you were born. Different trans people have different reasons for transitioning, and different understandings of what transition means in their lives.
But we often have to explain ourselves in settings where the cis people around us, with simplistic views, assume that gender essentialism is true. Sometimes these cis people have power over our access to goods like healthcare. Just as the movement for marriage equality rely on the simplistic claim that sexual orientation is innate, trans people fighting for our rights sometimes rely on the simplistic claim that we were “born in the wrong body,” because it’s the easiest way to communicate a complex reality to the people around us.
A: Look, no one is morally obligated to have sex with a person they’re not interested in. However, a trans woman who calls herself a lesbian is not demanding that cis lesbians have sex with her, any more than a cis woman who calls herself a lesbian is demanding that other cis lesbians have sex with her. The fact that two people are both lesbians doesn’t mean that either has to date, have sex with, or fall in love with the other.
Lots of trans women are in relationships with cis women, or with each other. Those relationships, being relationships between two women, are lesbian relationships, and many of the women in them are lesbians (although others would prefer to describe themselves using words like bisexual, pansexual, queer, or other descriptors).
It’s strange that so many people who are not interested in dating trans women display a morbid fascination in how trans women have sex, without understanding the topic accurately. It’s not actually true that trans lesbians are chiefly interested in PIV sex; see Autostraddle’s trans lesbian sex tag for a more realistic, nuanced picture of trans lesbian sexuality. But also note that if you’re not dating a trans woman, then it’s not really your business how she has sex, nor is it appropriate to declaim loudly about whether you would have sex with her.
Finally, while you’re within your rights to turn down sex for any reason good or bad, turning down a partner you’re otherwise attracted to, just because they’re trans, is a pretty lousy reason. It would be a better, more loving, and sexier world for everyone if we didn’t stigmatize trans bodies and fixate so much on trans women’s genitals.
A: No.
Trans people (whether women, men, or nonbinary) have different experiences from cis women. A trans woman, for instance, is unlikely to see her womanhood as connected to the capacity to give birth, while some cis women feel that this capacity is central to their womanhood. A trans father who nurses his child may be more comfortable with the word “chestfeeding” than the word “breastfeeding,” even though cis women often say “breastfeeding.” Trans people have developed words and concepts that accurately reflect our experiences.
But reporting your own experience is not the same as trying to silence people who are different. There is plenty of room for the stories of trans people of various genders to exist alongside the stories of cis women.
A: First of all, most of us go by “he,” “she,” or “they,” all of which are extremely common English words.
Second, referring to people in accordance with their preferences is basic politeness. If Edward hates to be called Ed, and likes to be called Ned, then you should call him Ned. If Aesha Washington, PhD., wants to be called Dr. Washington, instead of Ms. Washington (or worse, Mrs. Washington), then you should call her Dr. Washington. When people expect this level of politeness from you, they are not suppressing your free speech in any meaningful way. Refusing to use someone’s preferred form of address is a way of expressing contempt for them, and people are within their rights to ask you not to speak to them contemptuously.
But what about weird pronouns like “ze” or “ey?” What about singular uses of “they?” Do you have to respect those choices too?
The answer is yes; respecting those choices is an ethical requirement. A person who uses gender-neutral pronouns is asking you not to mark them as either male or female, and it’s polite to respect their wishes. For every linguistic choice that does what they’re asking, somebody is likely to complain about it: singular “they” is supposedly ungrammatical (although it’s been part of the English literary canon for centuries); other pronouns are unfamiliar. For the person requesting a gender-neutral pronoun, there is no definitive winning move, so you can’t blame them for not choosing the winning move.
A: Being trans doesn’t have anything to do with embracing gender stereotypes. Trans people are just as varied in their gender presentation as cis people: there are butch trans lesbians, sparkly trans femboys, nerdy trans women in glasses and a blouse and sensible trousers, masculine trans men who occasionally dress in high femme drag, nonbinary people you would classify as women if you weren’t paying attention, nonbinary people you would classify as men if you weren’t paying attention, gay and lesbian and straight and bisexual trans people…
True, some trans women are feminine, some trans men are masculine, and some nonbinary trans people are androgynous. But in general, we do not transition because we are feminine, masculine, or androgynous. Our transitions are personal and individual; they are not a commentary on your femininity, masculinity, or androgyny. A trans man is not claiming, merely by his existence, that all masculine cis women should start taking testosterone and getting surgery; a trans woman is not claiming, merely by her existence, that all feminine cis men need to start wearing dresses and going by she/her pronouns. A nonbinary person is not indicting cis people for being cis.
Trans people have to navigate cis people’s gendered expectations, and sometimes that means playing to stereotypes in order to avoid discrimination and harassment. (For example, trans women may feel social pressure to wear makeup when they go out in public in order to avoid being treated rudely.) But don’t mistake someone else’s stereotypical expectations for the way we see ourselves.
A: It’s great to reject gender stereotypes, but that doesn’t have anything to do with whether you’re cis. A cis person is just a person who is not trans. So if you’re not trans, and you reject gender stereotypes, then you’re a cis person who rejects gender stereotypes. That’s a fine thing to be.
Some of the confusion probably comes from the way that certain sources define “cis” when they’re trying to explain what the word means. Consider this representative example.
Cisgender: A term used to describe a person whose gender identity aligns with those typically associated with the sex assigned to them at birth.
Human Rights Campaign
Our example definition uses the concept of identifying with a gender. If you interpret “identifying with” as “liking” and “gender” as “gender stereotype”, then you might come away with the mistaken impression that being cisgender is about liking the gender stereotypes that society imposes on you.
But being cis is not about liking gender stereotypes, any more than being trans is. You could solve this problem by coming up with a better theory of what it is to identify with a gender, or you could just define being cis and trans in other terms. Here’s an alternative definition.
Cisgender, frequently shortened to cis, refers to people who aren’t trans, i.e. people who are the gender everyone assumed they would be when they were born. Trans people, conversely, aren’t the gender everyone assume they would be when they were born.
Brin Solomon, “Come Out and Play,” Symphony Magazine
Anyway, the take-away point is that neither being cis nor being trans determines much of anything about your attitude toward gender stereotypes.
A: Maybe, but saying and doing transphobic things is also hurtful.
But take note: saying or doing a transphobic thing doesn’t mean you’re an irredeemable person. If someone criticizes you for saying or doing something transphobic, you can listen, learn from their criticism, and do better next time. We all make mistakes. But transphobia can be changed, and everyone can improve through criticism and effort.
A Trans 101 Blog 